dear friends, you know why you are here. to those who got here through curiosity, my thanks go to you.

before February 24th 2022 this was a project largely about the following

my father using rape and/or torture as a weapon
on strangers
friends
family
pets

I have had to sit at my half broken laptop and think about why I have so many boxes to tick when it comes to mental health. I had to try and understand myself from square one - so many times. Back to 0. Back to 0. Progress. 1. 2. 0. And so on. This project has made me think and feel. A lot. It also literally hurt. At times it has literally cut me. oh and I still don’t know myself all that much. But maybe a little bit better.

This is just a snippet what I have from my last trip in September. In reality, I have so much more from my previous trip - things from my family archives, too. I’m just trying to do my best in collating it and making personal sense of it. The thing is that writing about it is different. It’s very difficult and takes a lot of time. A lot of reshaping. Sometimes just completely erasing and starting again because I feel maybe I lost myself.

So what is it now about, this project?

The above, and something else - war. February 24th kept me up every eve and morning. nothing was ever the same again.

please let me know what you think of the forms in the art so far. let me know what colours got to your heart.

Your friend, mon

hello@monlev.com

or if you are a friend, you can just send me a cool text